faith.

i am so freaking excited to tell you what happened today. i don't even know what it means, but i know it means something.

this morning i did in fact wake up to spend some time with Jesus. i was able to speak in the spirit for about 15 minutes straight and worship God in my prayer language for almost an hour. it was truly amazing, and completely amazing that i was able to focus on that without wanting to fall back asleep and get an extra 10 minutes.

funny part is, i was having such a blast, with tears streaming down my face, that i didn't even want to get out of bed. first time i have ever not wanted to get out of bed because i was having such a good time with the Lord. i actually probably spent too much time and ended up being late for work. haha. whoops.

i got up from my bed, and tried to find my glasses. (little known fact, my eyesight has grown increasingly worse over the last 11 years and i am now more than half way blind. my eye doctor told me i may even be legally blind by the time i am 30 years old.) after trying to find my glasses the scripture where Jesus heals the blind man came to my mind. and i was like, whoa! i'll perform a miracle! 

so i put both hands on my eyes. prayed for a few minutes in my spirit language. opened my eyes, and nothing was better. needless to say, i was super bummed. luckily i found my contacts, and was able to make it out the door without being tooo late for work.

while at work, i received a text from my best friend maggie. sometimes maggie sends me verses and sometimes i send encouraging words to her. just you know, a friend thing. NBD.

her text went as followed, "Mark 10:52, 'Then Jesus said to him, 'Go your way; your faith has made you well.' And immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus on the road."

i was stunned. all i could text back at work was, "uhh. that is so weird."

unfortunately maggie took it as, "what a weird story. why did you send me this? bye."

but that was not it at all. i was so stunned that maggie would send me this random scripture out of all of the bible just to send to me. and that was all she sent. no words to follow up with it, or to forward it. just the scripture.

i am also reading this book called, "When Heaven Invades Earth" for the internship. this chapter i have been stuck on for the past week has all been about faith. which is really funny and odd now that i think about the events of my day today. there was a quote in there that made me think. it said, "Fear of appearing to live in denial is what keeps many from faith. Why is what anyone thinks so important to you that you'd not be willing to risk all to trust God? The fear of man is very strongly associated with unbelief. Conversely, the fear of God and faith are very closely related."

it wasnt because i didn't "pray correctly" or because i didn't have someone who is gifted in healing powers to heal me. it was because of my unbelief. even Jesus could not perform miracles in Nazareth because it says in Matthew 13:58, He could not heal them because of their unbelief. 

JESUS. flipping SON of GOD could not perform miracles in Nazareth. it didn't say, "He didn't want to perform miracles" it said He COULDN'T perform miracles. as in, it wasn't possible at that time because of their unbelief. 

crazy to think that, huh? the reason why we can't perform miracles has a lot to do with unbelief. i fully believe that you can believe in Christ, and yet still have unbelief. 

and the thing is, unbelief only harms us. we could be getting healed left and right, up and down and furthering the kingdom of God and letting it spread like wildfire! just the way Jesus did for His 3 years of ministry. 

but nope. we let the fear of what man will think of us come in the way. how unfortunate.

does anyone else have a problem with this as well? have you ever healed anyone, or even yourself with the power that Jesus said we have, now that we have Holy Spirit? because we do. we harness it. what are you doing with it?